Take Control of YOUR Birth

Normal birth is, or more aptly, should be, a natural, physiological event that happens to women a few times in their fertile years. Very occasionally medical help is needed.

What I am seeing is that the medical care received during a pregnancy seems to be risk-based where lots and lots of tests are carried out, consequently, seeds of fear and doubt being planted. If there are any abnormalities there are even more tests, scans and appointments. Phrases like “your BMI is too high to have….”; “your baby is looking  on the large size….”; “we need to induce you early because of your age/race/past experience….”

When enough testing is carried out, guess what? They’re going to find a problem! If we look at the definition of  ‘Normal’  in the Merriam-Webster dictionary, it says, “conforming to a type, standard, or regular pattern: characterised by that which is considered usual, typical, or routine.” So natural, intervention-free, vaginal births are actually a rarity today. What is ‘normal’ is stretch and sweeps, inductions and medically controlled births in medical settings. 

What I am also seeing with those who are pregnant, or are new parents, is compliance. Doctors are seen as the experts, and so pregnant women place their trust in the care provider’s hands. They hand over their power, rights and birth outcome straight into the doctors hands therefore becoming the submissive and compliant patient.

The outcome is that mothers are truly upset, often traumatized by their experience.  Even though the birth notes may show a straightforward birth, the care a mother receives has a lifelong impact on her that effects her memory of birth. Women often say they were not listened to or they were forced/manipulated into doing something they didn’t want to do. There was no nurturing care, honour or respect. Fear based outcomes were often used to get the mother to comply. For example, the doctor may say, “your chances of baby getting stuck double”, or even worse is, “your risk of stillbirth increase, and you don’t want a dead baby do you?” How dreadful hearing that! It’s totally unethical, coercive behaviour and extremely harmful.

PATIENT VS CLIENT

The Chambers Dictionary defines a patient as :” someone who bears or suffers; a person under medical or surgical treatment; a doctor’s client”. The Merriam-Webster dictionary’s definition of a client is: ” a person who engages the advice or services of another.” Pregnancy is not a medical condition! Just because there is blood pumping through your heart doesn’t mean you need a cardiologist. In the same vein,(excuse the cardiac pun) just because you have a baby growing in your uterus doesn’t mean you need an obstetrician unless you are experiencing complications.

Pregnancy is not a medical event! Although birth happens only a few times in a woman’s life, it does not mean it needs to be medically controlled, unless there is a medical reason. You should be the client, or service user who is able to accept and refuse treatment options after hearing all the information.

I was recently at a training in Belfast, with a few doulas and a lot of midwives, about the bio-mechanics of birth.We were split into different groups to discuss various scenarios. Our group was to discuss what hinders birth. Obviously there was loads of discussion, however one midwife mentioned how she saw women “transforming into patient mentality”. Many was the time she saw them become weak, lethargic or not even moving to the bathroom to vomit! It’s almost as if as soon as one walks through the hospital doors and the patient band fitted around the wrist, a person is under the patient spell.

I am convinced that if you, as a pregnant woman,  take your birth decisions into your own hands, birth outcomes would change! Health care providers would be compelled to share all information so that YOU would be able to make informed choices that were right for you. You would know that you don’t have to conform to hospital policy and guidelines. There would be confidence to make decisions that were right for you and your family.

Maternity services are a SERVICE! I know that’s deeply profound, but highlighting the obvious may switch a light on for you. A service is an offer of treatment that you can accept or refuse, and your decision should be respected and supported, even if it goes against guidelines! Being involved in your own care takes you out of the subservient ‘patient’ mode and into an empowered client. You will be able to make up your own mind with all the information, benefits, risks and alternatives given so you can make an informed choice. It’s no secret that maternity health care is thinly stretched. Midwives case loads are enormous, they are overworked with little compensation or appreciation and they are not free to practice how they choose. Midwives are leaving the industry in droves because they cannot practice true midwifery. (For every 30 midwives who qualify, 29 leave the profession) It’s up to you, especially if this is your first pregnancy to become educated. Here’s how:

BECOME A STUDENT OF YOUR BIRTH

You can change your birth outcome! Please don’t hand yourself over to the system, thinking you’ll just go with the flow. It doesn’t work. Things get done to you that you may never have expected leaving you feeling overwhelmed, distressed and disconnected from your baby.

Become a student of pregnancy and birth:

• Be curious about what’s available
• Ask questions, and then ask some more questions
• Hire a doula to guide you through your pregnancy and birth
• Take an independent childbirth education programme
• Learn how to be your own advocate
• Knowledge is power
• Have a supportive birth team around you who will honour and support your choices
• Have a back-up plan, because sometimes birth doesn’t always go as you wish.